Honestly, these past few weeks have been some of the most surreal that I have ever experienced in my life. It's not something I'm happy to say, either. Amidst all this crap and chaos from the COVID-19 virus, rightfully renamed as CoronaPocalypse, I've found myself in a daze. There is a lot for me to have to compute right now, a lot to have to figure out inside of my head, and honestly, I really just wish life were back to normal.
There is a lot that I miss about 'normal' life. I miss school, which is something I never thought I'd say. I miss my job, which is something else I thought I'd never miss. I miss my friends. My family. My ability to walk outside of the house without having to worry about a virus that could kill the people that I love.
As I said before, this is just so surreal. It hasn't been easy, and honestly I feel a lot of stress and pressure from this all. I'm not the kind of person that likes change. I have a routine that I follow. I usually stick to my routine like it's the Bible. These days, I can't do that. I have to transition and adjust. But I feel like such a robot right now...
I feel like I'm so swamped on my school work, and I think that that is because the depression is sinking in. I feel like I'm drowning, that there's no time for me to get anything done. I sit here for hours and hours just working endlessly until my back hurts and my fingers are cramped from typing. But I still don't feel productive. I tell myself that this is just the shut-in order getting to me. But I'll get through it. Life always has its ups and downs, and this is just one of the downs.
Teaching my lesson was also super strange. I talked to my dolls of Elsa, Rapunzel, Sven and Pascal. It was strange, but I think that I did okay. I really don't ever want to have to teach online long term because it would make me sad. I'm a people person. I thrive off of my student's responses. I can't do this very long, I don't think.
I also miss my special ed kids... I really miss them. My heart hurts thinking about them and how dangerous this time is to them. I hope all of this gets better because right now we're in such unknown territory...
Hey Zoe!
ReplyDeleteI honestly can relate to you. I am trying not to show it but only a few individuals know the amount of stress I am dealing with. I am came up with a schedule to keep me busy but I struggle to focus at home when I have a big family. My siblings and I attend college so we are always using the internet which lately has been really slow. We are always in our rooms or living room when meeting with our classes. I miss having structure!
It was my first time teaching virtually as well and it felt strange as well. This too shall pass. We just need to keep being positive and it’s okay to take a mental health day.
Hi Zoe,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you, this has been a rough time for everyone. Like I can't go see family or friends. I can't go on outings or shopping or to the movies! I also do miss school and seeing all of you in person and just having real human interactions. Its like now, even when I go to the grocery store people look sad, shelves are empty and its just not the same. I got the chance to observe your lesson and it was a great experience. Besides all that we are in this together and we will get through this and this will be a story to tell. !